Friday, January 16, 2009

Always with us

This is a picture of Jessica that was uploaded into the Facebook group of Jessica, I decided to bring it here for those that are not in the Facebook. As I see her picture I can only think that one is not where the body is but where one is missed the most. I miss Jessica everyday that's how I know she is all the time with me.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

long nights

Can't sleep again..after almost a whole bottle of used to work..
I have probably said this way too much...but you never asked me for anything...never...why was not I there for you?..what can I do for you now?..I know these words came too late...

Saturday, January 3, 2009

my hope under siege

Someone told me months ago, that at least, you know now what comes after all of this; the question, unanswerable for us, of what is awaiting after life, is a certainty for you now….What is it honey? Is there really a heaven?
I now see so many good reasons in being such a believer…for the time being...I want to believe that whatever it is, it could not be worse than what we see on earth..and if that is true then it is true to say we leave this world to rest…the world is a hopeless place my Jessica. The way you were taken from us is evidence of that…
I guess you would be saying Ivonne stop it!! and asking me why am I so tragic and dramatic all the time!…and that instead, I should be enjoying what life gave me. I do enjoy life and I am very conscious on how lucky I am…but that does not mean I don’t think life is painfully unfair.
I did not want to start on all the problems my country has but...I just heard the government defined that 2 million of Colombians, who represent the poorest sector, will make only $497.000 pesos monthly this year (approximately 250 dollars!!), I wonder how they make a living out of such a misery, the saddest part is that those are the lucky ones that got a job: 10% of Colombians do not receive a formal salary and have what the government calls “informal” jobs meaning…they work by themselves selling whatever they can on the streets…it is sad, very sad…and God only knows whether that figure (the unemployment percentage) is true or not….the DANE (the national statistics department) was found to be lying on this government figures not so long ago…so probably the real figure is worse than 10%.

That’s only one part..let’s don’t talk on murders, kidnapping and impunity...I don't have a reason to believe that we are the only ones with such problems...(I'm thinking of Mexico), Colombia is only the case I know the best…but people keeps killing each other every where...I can only pray that someday..hopefully soon.. Israel and the US will stop and think again what they are doing in Gaza.
I don't pretend in making your blog a political debate..I just needed to vent this..I keep losing faith..or what the non believers call hope.
Last night I wake up in the middle of night and was you the first thing that came into my mind…I could had been dreaming about you…I used to have beautiful dreams and used to remember them…for some reason I can’t do that anymore…

Friday, January 2, 2009

Eternity by William Blake

I was reading your beloved T.S. Elliot tonight..and somehow
I ended up stumbling on to my beloved William Blake,
who wrote this:

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sun rise.

It reads like if it was made for you.